Its a sad point in your life when you believe that the people that you care the most about have abandoned you. But that is another part of life I'm afraid... afraid. I wonder if many of us will ever know the true sense of that word, to be truly afraid of something, or someone... Its a terrifying thought, that we should ever be placed in a position of such fear. I can't think of much to write about tonight..

At work I had a lovely old couple come in... They were telling me how they'd been out for the night and gone to the local Hotel for dinner (Roast Pork, $10.50 per head), and how they'd enjoyed it. Came in for a bottle of white wine before they went home. And I had the thought that it would be wonderful to be like that when you're older... to still have that friendlyness and vitality about you that makes others smile. You meet a lot of elderly people who are grumpy and miserable and it saddens me to think that life has made them like that.

Today's panties: Pink boylegs. X

When we say the world is complex, life is complex... the world is beautiful, life is beautiful... just how complex, and beautiful are the human beings that inhabit the world, life... and everything else?

An online diary that was originally supposed to be a daily record has now turned into an occassional record. But thats life I suppose at some point... you end up with other more important committments, work, relationships, home life. And then theres not much you can do about it. Its just the way it is. Funny how I keep telling myself that recently. Takes the stress out of it though I must admit. Its quite nice to just be able to sit back and enjoy the ride and let the universe work it out for you. Lately I've been talking about the universe quite a bit. Which is suprising for me because I've always believed that you have to work bloody hard for what you want and to hold onto it. But somehow... everything has been working itself out without having to stress over it or worry or be generally concerned. I'm filled with a kind of knowledge that it will work out exactly as I want it and it will be wonderful. Which is incredibly relieiving in an odd kind of way.

The last few days I've spent with the Boy. The Boy is turning out to be perfect in pretty much every way. We laugh and carry on and have fun together. Its been so long since I've smiled this much and the incredible thing is that I never want it to end. Knowing that I've said this now it may be a different story next week. But hey. Thats the spontaneous nature of the world we live in. For now I'm just happy to hold onto the beauty of what this has become, and share part of it with all of you.

Today's panties: None. Underwear is over rated. X

The A - Z of Alcohol (part five)

S is for Soda
That horrible stuff that people have a tendency to put in scotch or vodka, or gin and ruin a perfectly good alcoholic beverage

T is for Tequila
A wonderfully potent and extremely popular drink that is most often associated with Mexico and Mexicans, sitting around, in their sombraros and poncho's and drinking tequila while playing guitar and shooting each other in the foot. Stereotypical, I know, but I find it funny.

U is for
I don't know. Anyone have a decent alcoholic beverage for 'U' ??

V is for Vodka
Perhaps the most versatile and popular drink of all. Coming in many forms from pre mixed to flavoured and in many sizes from cans to bottles to baby bottles. A wonderful drink. Especially when mixed with orange and Galliano and ice, I find.

Work this evening was great, the locals were funny and had their great sense of humour intact, despite the horribleness of the cold wind and rain that was pummelling the area. You see a bloke come in wet and freezing from head to toe, with mud and dirt all over him, and he's got a smile on his face and a spring in his step:

ME: "How are you tonight, love?"
HE: "Doing better now, thankyou darlin"

Although, something resounding funny did happen tonight... a bloke came in and smelled of noodles... and I have an obsession with noodles, they're my little addiction... well, at least its a healthy one (somewhat)! And it was just so good, that I sniffed him... he freaked out and we both ended up laughing hysterically. It was great, funny as hell, to see the look on his face when I leant in and sniffed him... Yeah, I'm a freaky girl.

My pay this week is going to be fantastic, and I may finally be able to do some clothes shopping and put some more money into my savings account. And on top of all that, I get to see the boy on Monday for a couple of days. Life is looking up. And I'm loving every minute.

Today's panties: Red boylegs X

Tonight was a little slow at work, I got called in unexpectedly because a co worker was sick (poor girl, she's a sweetheart) and they needed someone to cover. Who covers better than I do? No one! AHAHAHA! It was a weekday, and it was expected to be slow... but there was so much to do. It hadn't looked like anyone had dusted the wines since I was last there, it was disgusting. Everytime I washed my hands the soap came up black from the dust and grime. And on the positive side, it looks like I won't need a second job... I got offered some more hours for July because a few people are going away, and someone has to cover, and as we've already discussed, no one covers better than I!

I'm positively pinging at the moment, and I swear that has nothing to do with the bag of chips I just ate (not just ANY chips mind you, the most gorgeous, deliciously addictive chips on the face of the planet - Red Rock Deli chips... I just consumed a bag of Dijon Mustard and Honey flavoured and MY GOD I want more!), no no no, my hyperness is due to the fact that I'm so damn happy! I haven't been this happy in a bloody long time and its strange, but I'd almost forgotten what this felt like. And I'm glad to have it back...

So that is my happy rant for this evening, am now attempting to counteract the potato chips I just ate with the largest bottle of water known to man kind. I'm just one big contradiction today.

Today's panties: White lace. X

Back with a vengence!

My body and mind are both surprisingly rejuvenated. An outcome I was not expecting after a weekend away. I was expecting to be resoundingly tired and overworked. And wanting nothing more than to fall back into my bed and sleep for the rest of the week. Yet this is not the case, no no.

The weekend was lovely, time spent indoors in front of the fire and more noticably, in bed, while the rain and wind and storms pelted the windows and the tin roof and made for a very... intense environment indeed. But I'm back, and better than ever. Desperately looking forward to getting back to work and wanting - more than anything at this point - to be back in that lovely bed. I believe I'm going to have to start looking for another job... Hmm... ponderisms afoot.

Today's panties: blue and white stripped boylegs. X

This will be the last time I'll write something here for a few days. I'm going away with my new bloke and needless to say will be too... 'busy' to get to a computer. Vulgar, I know, but so incredibly honest. I was brought up knowing that honesty was always a good thing, that it was better to be honest than to lie to yourself and to others. But I have to wonder: Can honesty ever be too much of a good thing? Surely in some circumstances this answer is yes. But morally I feel that I should always be honest with those around me. Regardless of if it would hurt them or not. I think it would be better to be honest from the beginning than to risk many things by being dishonest. If a husband cheats on his wife, should he tell her and risk her happiness and their marriage? Or should he keep his mouth shut, and live with that guilt? Surely, a clever woman would realise eventually that there was something wrong... Its hard to have such an opinion when the example I gave is not one that I can relate to... It is times like this when you think how accurate the use of a 'sigh' can be.

"Honesty is the best policy"... if this is so, then why are surrounded by a world of lies? In a society where politicians run the world, and a politician is said to be worse than a car dealer (ahem), then I wonder when this saying fell into the wood work. Honesty is the best policy. I believe that with all of my being. And I have to wonder if there will ever come a time when I am forced to abandon it. Or forced to ignore it.

This is a song thats touched me recently, that I've felt deeply and loved to listen to. Its soothing, I find.
Bless The Child - Nightwish

"I was born amidst the purple waterfalls.
I was weak, yet not unblessed.
Dead to the world. Alive for the journey.
One night I dreamt a white rose withering,
a newborn drowning a lifetime loneliness.
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past.
And witnessed the beauty of the beast"

Where have all the feelings gone?
Why has all the laughter ceased?

Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child
Think of me long enough to make a memory
Come bless the child one more time

How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?

I've never felt so alone in my life
As I drank from a cup which was counting my time
There's a poison drop in this cup of Man
To drink it is to follow the left hand path

"Where have all the feelings gone?
Why is the deadliest sin - to love as I loved you?
Now unblessed, homesick in time,
soon to be freed from care, from human pain.
My tale is the most bitter truth:
Time pays us but with earth & dust, and a dark, silent grave.
Remember, my child: Without innocence the cross is only iron,
hope is only an illusion & Ocean Soul's nothing but a name...

The Child bless thee & keep thee forever"

My day was going relatively well, until two things happened. The first of which involved my boss suddenly springing a weekend off on me. I was under the impression that I was working, and the sudden lack of work, had me a little worried to be frank and honest. Cleared that up, they're just giving me a weekend off. Sounds good. The second of which involved this conversation:

V: Hello thar.
ME: Howdy.
V: How's it goin?
ME: Pretty good. You?
V: Halfway through.
ME: Halfway through... what? Cooking? Thinking? Rotting away until you're a mass of bones in your six foot deep grave? Be more specific.
V: My four week suspension.
ME: So, what? You think you're hardcore now?

My god people are getting stupider and stupider. If THIS is an example of the future of this country, I think I can safely say, we're officially fucked.

Today's panties: Red cotton with "Kiss Me" written on the front. X

Today was a day of realisation, and understanding. Making a dear friend realise that he didn't have to live with one extreme or the other, that there is a balance and that it just takes time to find it. It made me realise the same thing. That there is always a balance, you just have to look at the whole picture, and realise that you need both aspects to be sane.

Today's panties: Black cotton, with a skull and crossbones on the front. X

Well, I've definately got my appetite back. I ate more today than I did all last week. I feel almost revolting, and my stomach is crying out for help. Its a horrible feeling really, but I hope I can keep it down. I tend to chunder when I eat too much. Anyway, I spent the day driving mostly, I gave my car a good run with my dad and got some more practice in... yeah, I know you all wanna give me shit about not having my license yet... Then discovered that the Australian government is making it compulsory for all learner drivers to have 120 hours worth of practice. Which totally destroyed me, as now I have about ten hours, total... over a period of two years. Yeah, I know I suck.


I tried to do some painting, an iceberg kinda scene... lots of snow and white and the small ripples in the water. It just ended up looking like a white and grey blob in the middle of the canvas. I haven't had much luck lately with these ideas. The naturalistic idea is working out well... but I can't get the tonal shades right for the forestry. Its kinda annoying, having this half finished, amateurish piece looking at me from across the room. One side of the canvas is looking fantastic, its just those bloody leaves...

Today's panties: Pink lace. X

I came home from a weekend of partying yesterday, was dropped off by my guy and my mate, and went to work shortly afterwards. Today I didn't do anything major. I didn't want to think, so I spent the hours doing housework... pretty much everything, even cleaning windows. And then as soon as I ran out of things to do, I get a phonecall from my ex... and thats not something I really want to go into. As soon as things get good in your life, everything else suddenly takes a massive dive, and you end up trying to juggle a billion things at once, often unsuccessfully I might add. For once I just wish that everything would fall into its own place quite happily, that things would be easy. But then, where would be the fun in that.

If the world was to throw you a free pass now and then... I have to wonder what the consequence would be. They teach you in science that every action has a reaction... so you have to wonder how the universe and the rest of your life would react. If we got a free bone would something in our lives be thrown as well? Would our partners leave us? Would we lose our jobs? Our cars? Our homes? Would their be an accident of some kind? Would we lose someone we loved? It just shows you to be careful what you wish for.

I mentioned this dilemma to a friend of mine the other day, one of my colleagues. And she said "When it rains, it pours." and you have to notice how right she was. When things get good... busy in your life, everything else does as well. When there isn't anything happening, work is slow. So is your social life. And just when you think you've got a good balance of both... WHAMMO!

Today's panties: Black lace and silk, with yellow polkadots and a pink ribbon on the front. X

I don't want to turn into one of those women that just talks about the men in their life because they have nothing better to discuss. I know that I'm more intelligent and more mature than that. I know that the people around me that listen to this bullshit deserve more than that.

Today was just an average day, I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm still not back at work. I started working out again today, and it felt nice, to get my muscles moving again... you could feel them strain because they haven't been used in a couple of weeks. Doing squats and crunches still hurts, but thats to be expected when they use my stomach muscles. I went out and paid a few bills, spoke to a friend of mine that I hadn't heard from in a while, it was nice to talk to her. We arranged to go out together tomorrow, meet up with the boys and have a few drinks, maybe hit a movie. I'm looking forward to it, I haven't done anything like that in a while with my mates. Knowing us we'll probably see some strange movie, most likely Shrek the Third. LOL. for some reason kids movies are always more entertaining that the adult ones. Last time we went and saw 'Happy Feet', the cinema was filled with adults, it was a blast. So tomorrow night I won't be blogging to all of you, I'll be sitting in a bar with my mates and enjoying the night life of the city. Hope you all have a great weekend too.

Today's panties: Turquoise lace. X

Today, physically, I'm feeling like a million bucks. Emotionally, I feel like I've been run over by a train. The bloke that I thought was out of my life, has now reappeared, guns blazing, and asking me to visit his place for the weekend so I can watch him sit in a bar and get drunk with his mates. Not exactly a girl's idea of a great night out. Then there is the other guy, he's a sweetheart, great bloke, funny, smart, has brains like you wouldn't believe. And he was talking to me about going away for a week on a house boat. Now that could be fun. Why is it that the people in our lives are ultimately so opposite each other? You either have someone which is your perfect guy in one sense, or someone who is your perfect guy in another, but the two never meld to make superman. Its frustrating. But then I realise that the perfect guy, wouldn't exactly be the perfect guy... perfection isn't what I want after all... I want a normal human bloke, and perfection is far from any of us.
I've made my decision over the man I want in my life. And it's pretty much going to break one guys heart. But I feel like I've outgrown him in a lot of ways, and the way that I'm headed, the other guy would be the better option for me. I feel pretty confident about that decision.

Overall... today was pretty emotional. I don't know what is going to happen. But I kinda like it like that.
Today's panties: Hot pink boylegs. X

Pies are evil.

Today's panties: None. X

Recovery slowly creeps closer, inching forever at a snails pace. The sparks of sickness stay close by, gripping your hair and trying to pull you down again to the putrid obsession of illness. The skeletal remains of hungering need clawing at your insides and gripping you tightly in its death like grip. Pain tearing through your body as you double over in twisting, wrenching pain. Your face contorted in horror, as your eyes gaze skywards and hold your body, trying to stop the pain escaping, as they claw and bite and grate forever at your stomach. Trying to escape.

Today, I am slightly better. I have been able to eat a little something, even though it still hurts like hell. But I'm still drinking a lot of fluids which is definately a good thing. Not as tired today. And I'm feeling ... okay. Pretty average, but okay. It was kinda nice to be able to eat something, just to feel it in your stomach again... its a strange feeling really. This fullness and warmth. I had forgotten what it felt like, also taken it for granted. Its amazing what you appreciate when you don't have it anymore.

Today's panties: White cotton boylegs.

Your stomach crawls as if inhabited by a thousand cockroaches, streaming over each other and clawing at your insides like the plague, like a madman seeking refuge from a world of judging eyes. Your throat burns like the brimstone fires of hell, and your mouth is dry like the deserts of the world itself. Unforgiving. Barren. Without mercy.

Needless to say, I still feel like crap. Food poisoning has destroyed my appetite. Not that I can eat anything at the moment, because I part ways with it anyway. But hey. Such is life. At least this weight loss thing is working (most likely associated with the not eating part). Six kilos in two days. Its almost disturbing. But I'll definately try and eat something tomorrow. Theres not a whole lot to report today I'm afraid. I ended up doing some painting, and primed a couple of extra canvases in case the creative juices start flowing. I'm working on some very natural pieces at the moment. Scenes of nature and the like. I haven't done anything like this before, and I'm discovering how challenging it is to draw on such beautiful sources of realism. Just the incredibly varied different shades of green is becoming a learning curve, all its own. I'm rather enjoying feeling the weight of a paintbrush in my hand again, and mixing colours and whatnot... I almost forgot how much I loved it.

Today's panties - A sexy little red lace number. X

When last week I was questioning the men in my life, I was torn in my own perceptions and respect for them. And the universe has made my decision for me. The person who I believed I loved and wanted to be with has met someone else, within a week of telling me he wanted to be with me. And the funny thing is, is that I'm not surprised or devastated or upset in the slightest. Sometimes you just have to accept it, deal with it, and move on. This does two things for me. One, is to enable me to pursue something with a man who challenges me as a human being, and two, allows me to finally realise that a lot of things are a complete joke. I know that it sounds somewhat jaded to believe that 'love' is a joke, but when 'love' means finding someone completely new after a year of trying to get past the shit of a relationship, yeah, its a joke. Or maybe its just him. He was everything I thought I wanted. And it was complete rubbish. In a way I'm glad. Everyone has to realise at some point, that human beings aren't the idolised creatures we believe we are. We're human. And that allows us to hurt those around us, that engulf and breathe the air we do at such a point as to emotionally cripple others. And all for the excuse that we are human. I am not a perfect being. I have made choices in my life that may have hurt those I care, or cared, for. But when you take responsibility for them it gives you a certain amount of courage and control over your own fate.

I have spent the last twelve hours in bed, recovering from a bout of what I believe to be food poisoning. And a dodgy pie started it all. I can see the comedic beauty of this. It takes a bout of sickness for my body to recover physically from the draining actions of the last week. But as soon as I start to recover I need emotional recovery. Sometimes life just has to make you laugh. Yet I can sit here now, and write this for all of you, and when he comes online (as he has just done), I can happily close the window, and know that I will overcome this moment.

Today's panties: Black cotton, with a pink skull and crossbones on the front.

The A - Z of Alcohol (part four)

N is for Nausea
The horrible thing that can follow a wonderful night of drinking.

O is for Ouzo
A wonderful friend of mine 'S' gave me this one (as a beer drinking girl, you'll have to forgive me). He says "It tastes like aniseed, I think its got anise in it - its clear, and bloody strong!"

P is for Port
I don't particuarly know why, but I love port. I guess its one of those christmasy kind of things, that you associate with warm fires and sitting under the tree opening presents. Although, in Australia you'd be MAD to have a fire going on Christmas day. And we're more likely to be drinking beer... but I guess its pretty stereotypical.

Q is for Queasy
Yet another horrible thing that follows a wonderful night of drinking.

R is for Rum
Or Captain Morgan's to be exact. This is one of those festive, seasonal kind of drinks that just makes one feel all happy and warm and fuzzy inside. Gets you absolutely plastered to boot. A nice side effect if you ask me. Whats better than the drink of pirates, I ask you? Something caused all that raping and pillaging and plundering. It was either insanity from the sun and being at sea so damn much, or rum.

When all you want is to be able to please the people around you, is it even possible to hold onto yourself?

In a world where perfection is so sought after and desired, is anything less embraced with love and courage?

When the world you've known and loved for so long is crumbling, is it possible to stay standing in amongst the wreckage?


I had to wonder today about the world that surrounds us, and the extents we go to to try and fit into it and be a part of it. How we push ourselves and restrain ourselves and force ourselves to fit an image that the world will embrace with approval and pride. Or how we disreguard the ideals of what we 'should' be, and the price we pay for it. Ultimately do we end up sacrificing part of ourselves? Or do we end up embracing ourselves in the most positive and fulfilling way?

Today I realised how much I missed my painting...

*Bloke puts a four pack of Jack Daniels and Cola on the counter*
ME: "Anything else with those, mate?"
BLOKE: "Um... yeah, a packed of Peter Jackson Virginia thanks darlin'."
ME: "Those are extremely bad for you."
BLOKE: "If I get cancer, I'll come back to you."
ME: "Pffft. Go after the cigarette companies, they've got more cash than me."
BLOKE: *laughing* "Good one."

Today's panties: Blue striped boylegs

Today was a confusing, hectic, emotionally testing day. Someone I loved, love... used to be with came back into my life. I hadn't heard from him in months, and then he was there. Part of me still wants that, and part of me wishes that I could throw it away. I am torn, emotionally. Between a man I've loved since I met him, who brought out the best in me, and a man who challenges my intelligence and psyche. I am torn between so much lately. But work is a constant. A physically trying experience that continues to make me smile in a way. I am glad I can have the constant of the people that come into my work, the customers. They're funny and they make me smile. Its lovely. Reassuring, that the world still turns.

Work tonight was good. Busy. But I got quite a lot done. I still find it funny how my family call me up when I'm there and tell me to get them booze. A call tonight from my mother, asking me to get her Martini. A call yesterday from my dad, asking me to get him Whiskey. No incredibly lewd comments this evening... just a lot of rain. It was lovely in a way... the way it battered the doors. I made as many excuses as I could to walk across the road in it. I think of the song by the Doors, "Riders of the Storm" and I think about how beautiful and peaceful it is... and how somehow we relate ourselves to songs. Thoughts or feelings or actions. I know that you hear a lot of people say that... "That song is SO about me" (invocation of annoying tenny bopper, here), but there is just something about the tranquility of that song...

Another day, another dollar. Today's panties: Hot pink boylegs. Yeah.

I spent most of today reading... Following the progress of Salinger's protagonist in "The Catcher in the Rye" I realised how much I need to get away... I'm starting to get itchy feet, this happens every few years with me, I need to get out and travel and see something. I want to have the kind of life where people I tell about my adventures will just say "WOW". And I can't help feel attached to everything. Its not my job, I can get a job anywhere in this country, but I can't help almost hating it here. I admire how the character, although only a teenager, can just take off and end up in New York... although I suppose in the time this is set going off to New York is a hell of a lot cheaper than it is today... Its not New York I want to go to really... I want to see my country. I've lived here my whole life and I want to see its beauty and its harsh reality for myself. Guess theres a little adventurer in me.

I got a pile of forms about my superannuation today, and I can't make head or tails about any of it. Its confusing, and so far the only thing I actually understand is that its with the Commonwealth Bank. Its ALMOST relaxing here now... the fire is loaded and the rain is belting at the windows, can hear my olds argueing in the background about something stupid... a telly program I think. Its childish and it surprises me that they're both in their 50s. I picked up a book a couple of weeks ago that I really want to get into: "Nineteen Eighty Four"... I'm looking forward to that one. It still surprises me how a lot of my mates would rather spend their wages on music or clothes, while I'm more interested in feeding my soul and my mind. Granted, music can do that, but the ability for deeper connection with music was lost when Rap became a genre. Today's panties: Sunflower yellow boylegs.

Today I woke up to discover the sky gray and heavy, rain battering my windows, and lightning breaking across the sky. Also discovered a shaking, shivering, frightened puppy in my bed. It was adorable. But also hairy and scratchy. Then I climbed out my window and sat on the verandah roof, watched the storm... it was lovely in a way. I love how you can feel all the electricity coursing through your body, and the way your hair stands on end at the back of your neck, and your body feels so at place in the universe. Its exciting. That could partly be due to the fact that there is a possibility one could be struck by lightning, but hey, its part of the experience. And then came a random conversation...

ROD: "My chest hair tingles"
ME: "That doesn't surprise me honey, its your super sexy sixth sense"
ROD: "Danger is afoot!"
ME: "Of course it is, you're around"
ROD: "This explains much"
*long pause*
ROD: "And can only mean my penis has become harder"
ME: "You should have been steralised at birth when you burst from your mother's womb"

But then a conversation regarding Kafka came about with a close male friend, and that kind of balanced out the stupidity in the universe. I think. The topic of conversation I believe was "What is the most dominant form of human intelligence"... we ended up on a shaky balance between political and spiritual. There were some rather good debates that accompanied it. A lot of people find it strange that the majority of my friends are male. Theres just something that seems to make the friendship so much more... endurable if its a bloke. I think the lack of girlish screaming and squeeling helps. Also the lack of pointless convesations about boyfriends...

Today's panties - red with a purple lace trim and 'cutie' written on the side.

Today was partly a day of recognition, and partly a day of eye opening sadness. I recognised how I was feeling and how I was dealing with the world around me, and realised that I wasn't doing too well... Then a friend showed me photographs he had taken of the devastation that is still left behind since Hurricane Katrina hit Florida. And I was sickened, and disgraced to be a human being. And realised that compared to that, and compared to what some of those people must be living I have heaven. I learned not to complain about life, and to take every knock on the chin. That if you fall down, you get up, and you try and help as many people as you can in the process. I wish there was a way to compell the government of the US to act in a more productive way, and to help the people on their own soil than wage a war in another country. I hate to think that if the American government put even a fraction of the funds for the Iraq war into rebuilding the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, that this horror would have long been over.

On a lighter note, today's panties - white cotton with cherries printed all over them

Work has been rather busy lately, I guess a few days of warm weather has people reaching for the booze again. The people that come into work still amaze me, but they're always generally nice, nothing too offensive comes out of their mouths, and the flirting comments come out of practically everybody's. A guy that stands out in my mind recently was a middle aged bloke, about 34 - 37 years old, not too bad looking actually...

HIM: "Come fishing with me"
ME: "Yeah? Sounds like a plan, where are you going?"
HIM: "The local pier, I'm gonna back up onto it with me ute, me mate's gonna fish off the end, and I'm gonna sit in the front and... drink"
ME: "That sounds exciting"
HIM: "Oh it will be, would be even more so if you were to come along"
ME: "I think I may have to pass on the fishing, love"
HIM: "You don't know what you're missing sweetheart."

Oh yeah, I get em in droves. If theres an annoying drunk male out there, he'll walk into my store on the night that I'm working. Its even better when they come in packs.

BLOKE 1: "Hello beautiful"
ME: "Hello hopeless"
BLOKE 2: "aww... Now don't be like that"
BLOKE 3: "How much is a slab of cougar?"
ME: "Sixty mate"
BLOKE 1: "Pffft, thats a bit steep"
ME: "Thats the price, you don't like it, go somewhere else"
BLOKE 4: "Right, how much is a cube of Bundy?"
ME: "Forty five sweetheart"
BLOKE 2: "So you call HIM sweetheart!"
BLOKE 1: "Come drinking with us"
ME: "Nope"
BLOKE 1: "Please come drinking with us"
ME: "Nope"
BLOKE 4: "Come on darling, just a few drinks"
ME: "You've got more chance of FLYING out that frikkin' door, that you do of me coming drinking with you"
BLOKE 2: "Better grow some wings then, hey"
ME: "Hell yes"

Things haven't been too bad the last couple of days to be honest. Pretty average, but not bad. Mother's Day was a great hit in our home, I spoiled her rotten. Completely rotten. Chocolates and books and new pajamas, and a really soppy card that made her cry. Cooked her breakfast, did everything for her, she didn't lift a finger all day. Lucky.

Today's panties - at the moment, none. Will report back soon.

Yesterday I was dyeing my hair and I had a thought, that I've been thinking about quite a bit since actually... How much of our lives do we actually fake? In a world where we can fake our hair colour, our eye colour, our height, our weight, our breast size, our cock size, our skin colour, our accent, our beliefs, hell, even our orgasm... how much of us, at the end of the day, is real? What part of us is left behind the primping and pampering and carrying on?

I'm also reading a book which is perhaps entirely focused around lies, and their actions and their consequences - The Catcher in the Rye. And I'm loving it. But one line in the book has ruined what the protagonist's perceptions were for me "I am the most terrific lier."

I have to run off to work. I'll report in soon with another exciting addition to my online tales. Todays panties - Red boylegs with a pair of lips on the front. Over and out. XX

The A - Z of Alcohol (part three)

I is for "Iceberg"
A lovely little cocktaily something which my mate 'L' put me onto. It contains vodka and peppermint schnapps which you shake with ice and strain into a chilled glass. Sounds bloody nice actually.

J is for Jagermeister
A beautiful and extremely potent drink that is truly delicious and packs one hell of a punch when combined with red bull.

K is for Kahlua
Mmmm... this beautiful smooth creamy liquid is lovely when combined with butterscotch and icecream in a blender. Makes a lovely summery drink and packs a decent punch to boot!

L is for Lager
Ah, the beloved lager. Very possibly one of the most popular forms of beer and one of the highly enjoyable. One of my favourite forms of lager is the 'Crown'

M is for Moscato
A lovely white wine created by Brown Brothers. Brown Brothers make beautiful versatile wines which are pretty damn fool proof for any wine new-comer. If you pick up a bottle of Brown Brother's (red OR white) ... you can't go wrong. My tip.

This morning I started work at 6am... It was again another equally horrible and boring day. As you can imagine not a whole lot of people want to buy booze at that time of the morning. Being up that early is simply ridiculous, in my opinion. My bosses are inhumane and cruel. They should be poked profusely with pointy sticks. I should say to them "AHA! I will go out and find a stick, make it pointy and then return to poke you with it profusely!" That would show them.

When I finished work, I felt like walking home (about five, maybe six km), and I stopped in the cemetary again. I sat on a tree stump and just watched... and the way the wind was blowing through the gum trees and the dust blowing across the rocky ground really made it all the more comforting and beautiful to me. And then I took these... Today's panties: Black cotton, with "hands up" printed on the front, and a red lace trim.

Domestic day, uninteresting and absurdly boring. Housework, washing... so much bloody washing. I feel like Mrs. Wong (elderly chinese lady that owns a laundromat in the city). The human mind amazes me, as much as you try to do the 'right thing' and the 'nice thing', try to make someone's life that tiny bit easier and they throw it back in your face. I'm not really in the mood to write tonight... far too tired. Today's panties: black satin reading "Bad Kitty" at the front. Tempting? Hell yes.

A very long day. A very long tiring day. A horrible horrible day. Ultimately, my conclusion is this - starting work at 6am is NOT FUN. After starting at 6am, I did the usual things... dealt with some people, over saw a delivery, talked to my boss. And to think, that I have to get up again at 5am on Wednesday. I walked home when my shift was over, took time and dawdled. I stopped in the local cemetary (ironic how people make jokes about it being the 'dead centre of town' when it most cases a cemetary is located on the towns outskirts, anyway) and took some photos of the beautiful old headstones. Its amazing, the history you can learn from them, people's birth dates and death dates... A group of headstones together, all children under ten, all dead within two years, five of them... You can gain a small insight into the life of those times... The hardships that people face... And I am sorry. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose so many people you care about, you love, in such a short space of time... Nor ever for that matter. Just to live through such an experience... To be the one that buries your children. I cannot begin to imagine what pain that could cause someone. Or how that would affect them physically/psychologically.

The photographs will be for reference for some new art pieces I'm working on... I'm enjoying exploring this new subject matter. Not just for the image, but for the history. With each name I find I feel like I'm finding part of that person, something they left behind. And then every now and then you see a familiar name. Not necessarily that I knew said person, but just the sound of it... It may sound morbid. But I don't think that. I think of it as more... A Homage for the Dead. I like that... Homage. Homage (noun): A public show of respect or honour for someone or something. I like the idea of showing people these headstones, finding out as much as I can about the stone's "owner", and telling them what I can. Almost like keeping their memory alive. Its interesting how, in the cemetary, walking alone amongst these long forgotten headstones, that I felt safe and oddly happy... at home, and peace. Odd? Todays panties: Black, with 'Kiss Me' written on the front. Any volunteers?

A very tired, average feeling Tracey writes to you today, last night - while not being a complete disaster, was just well... Its hard to describe... The birthday girl ended up in tears for most of the night, so it generally dampened the mood lets say. I got to see a few of my mates, which was fun, and I'd love to see them all again... Photos were taken and times were enjoyed. Beer was consumed and fights were had... Cars were abandoned for the safer option of walking home. And it is now that I reflect upon last night, and realise that I may have been better off staying at home. In a couple of hours I have to go to work. But at least I can (hopefully) have a slow night. Sunday's generally aren't too bad. The friends I saw last night, they weren't the friendly faces I wanted to see... so many people that are important to my life weren't there. And can't be there. And it was horrible, and reflective. And when you think about things like that you realise that you've come to a point in your life when you need to make some big decisions regarding your future, and your life. When you think about the people in your life, those that mean more to you than the world, and those that appear more as just stops along the way.

There isn't a whole lot someone can say about the people that you love without sounding like a complete soppy muppet... But then, if you mean as much to them, they should already know it... Shouldn't they?

So I ask this: What do you do when your life is falling apart, and the one thing that means the world, is the one thing you can't have? Do you fight and believe (in ignorance... or stupidity) that maybe, just maybe one day it will happen and things will be grand. Or do you finally accept that one day will never come, and live without that beauty in your life, for the rest of your life. Then again, maybe some answers aren't meant to be known. Or maybe, you have to leave the decision making up to the world around you, and just sit back and enjoy the ride. It may be an optimistic option, but maybe the world is on my side.

Todays panties: Black boylegs that read "It doesn't count, if you don't get caught"

Another long, incredibly boring day at the office. It appears that the local alcoholics dislike the cold immensely... for in three hours I had only twelve customers (yes... I counted). And now I sit here, obediently writing to all the people on cyberspace who have nothing better to do than read what happens in my life. I hope you find it significantly more interesting than I do. Applying mascara is not easy when you're trying to type at the same time incidentally. Just so you know. At the present time I'm resting and eating a little something so I can go out and experience yet another moment of drunken teenage awesomeness. I feel I am obligated to such actions as I am now of an age where one can't get a smacked arse for coming in late in various states of intoxication and (disgustingly) covered in vomit. Note: That while I have never thrown up from the consumption of alcohol, I hear that this is some kind of bookmark in adolescence.

Just a quick one tonight so I can keep with the updates. I swear that tomorrow's entry will be significantly better. I did have some profound thoughts earlier about plague and the four horseman of the apocalypse... but not to worry. Todays panties: Green and white striped boylegs. Although I may end up not wearing any. To be continued...

Is writing in the present tense now as beyond me as LIVING in the present is? How did I (a fool) manage to miss the obvious. I notice - noticed - nothing. Nothing at all. I like to think I'm a good person, still... even if (admittedly) only by reflex. I served out my sentence - six years in a large square concrete building filled with boredom and despair (secondary school), yet one that filled my mind with knowledge and wisdom and helped me to become what I am today. Six years in the hands of teachers who speak loudly and point at things with large sticks. Reading the human being used to be drilled into my psyche, into my perceptions.... And now I am left wondering what is different.

When all I want is to lay in bed with someone, two bodies and voices and thoughts intertwined in darkness... I am left with mediocrity. And I feel like death warmed up. I find it funny how CONFESSION can create a released sense of calm, how it can bleed away the restlessness and engulf you so completely. And in the same mind-numbing instance, leave you so completely empty and regretful that your heart feels like it will explode. When all else fails - keep your mouth shut.

Today's panties - black boylegs, with handcuffs on the front

Okay, so this is now officially the second day that I've missed since I started this blog. The first was because of a party - which was fucking fantastic actually. Yesterday was because my phone company, in all its glorious STUPIDITY cut my phone lines for no damn reason. Yes, I had paid the bills, and yes, I had kept the receipt. So there were many hours of abuse spent on the phone yesterday. But eventually they put it back on (although they still had no good reason for turning it off) eight hours later. AND they wanted to charge me $150 to come to my house and see what the problem was... I have no patience for these idiots. NONE. Maybe the phone companies should stop hiring CHILDREN TO DO THEIR BLOODY WORK!!

Okay, now enough with the ranting. Today was a fun day generally (I'll get to the horrible part towards the end of this entry). Originally started off rather good with plans to go out shopping with a friend (sex shopping)... but then she didn't come. Nope, too busy fucking her boyfriend's brains out (LITERALLY - the chap has about as much intelligence as a snail). Anyway. So that didn't happen. Instead I called up my dear friend who I've known since kindergarten and her and her boyfriend took me sex shopping. Where I purchased: A pair of good fur lined wrist cuffs, a small vibrator, a pair of fluffy sex game dice, and bondage dice. Then after that, we went clothes shopping, where I got myself: a pair of zebra striped panties with red and white lace, a pair of black panties with handcuffs on them and a trilby hat. Anyone who has seen a trilby will know what I'm talking about. So now I have panties to match my "porn-star" zebra print bedsheets. Which I think is just enough on this side of tacky to be tolerable. Anyway, they're supremely comfy. When we got back to her place, she went to work - and me, in all my forgetful habits, left my wallet in her car. Complete with bankcard, ID, and medicare card... I'm not worried, because I know that she'll keep it until I grab it... but still. I hate that I forgot it. Yesterday when I got money from the ATM I forgot my receipt (granted, that may have been because I went into the store in my pajamas... but still). I've been really forgetful lately and its a little upsetting - I'm normally miss. reliable... GAH. I'm beating myself up over something small. I'll get it off her in a couple of days. Rant officially over. Todays panties - white lace boylegs.

When I saw this, I originally started laughing hysterically... then almost sadly as I realised it was almost disgustingly true. I mean, working in a liquor store, one sees the effects of alcohol - not to mention being a young woman and attending all the associated parties simply laden with drunkeness and endless alcohol induced comedic stupidity... but it is simply horrendously true!! Granted, I've never fallen subject to alcohol lowered standards... but my standards have been lowered due to obvious horniness... Something I may never live down in my circle of friends. But ah... how fun it is to be young and gossip of the week. A short entry today - but I'm sure you'll survive. As for todays panties - purple and white striped boylegs, with a white lace trim.

The A-Z of Alcohol (part two)

E is for Eclairs
A beautiful smooth drink served in a shotglass. One too many of these and you'll feel it in the morning... and be stumbling around that night.

F is for Frangelico
According to a good mate of mine, C "Its good shit!"

G is for Goon
Goon just happens to be a slang name for Wine. Bottled or Casked... it all tastes strange and it all gets you well and truly over the hill if you drink enough of it. Although - Brown Brothers 'Cienna' is a rather lovely concoction...

H is for "Hot Toddy"
A DEADLY formula of heated liquor (scotch, brandy, port) and coffee or tea. Theres just something about them that messes with your mind in half the amount of drinks necessary to normally get you shattered. There are funny stories regarding my mum and a shotgun after a few Hot Toddy's actually... remind me about that for another post.

As for todays underwear? Blue panties, black lace trim, and a peephole in the back

I apologise for missing a post yesterday - but believe me: it wasn't for lack of wanting. Just extremely bloody busy is all. I was at work all day - Saturday night, a busy night, lots of tourists around for a weekend racing thing they were holding at the grounds nearby, so had people coming in constantly all night - most of which were already on their way to being completely comotosed. Then went to an all nighter afterwards. It was fantastic. I got to see a lot of my mates from school that I haven't seen since it ended... It was great to be able to catch up with everybody and see what they're doing... realising that we're all still a bunch of piss heads even though (some of us, myself not included) now have respectable jobs - banker, carpenter, pharmacutical distributer....

Today was pretty hectic - haven't slept since Friday night and did an all nighter drinking and partying before I had to go to work... still surprisingly looked good though. Which was lovely. The wonders of some cold water and water proof mascara can do wonders for a girl. TIP: ALWAYS carry waterproof mascara in your bag ladies, and lip gloss. Met a really nice guy at this party... I have no idea what his real name is... but we spent hours discussing the simplicities and complexities of the human mind, as well as everything sexual under the face of the sun (DISCUSSING it, not doing it... geez, take that mind out of the gutter. NOW). I enjoyed talking with him and spending time with him. Overall a brilliant night. Just being able to go out and see my mates was fantastic on its own. But meeting someone who challenges and broadens your mind with every word that floats off his tongue was definately a mind altering experience. I'm looking forward to seeing him again in the future. Only a short entry - because I'm completely fucked. Panties for the weekend? Saturday night - black lace g-string... Sunday - Black boylegs with 'kiss me' written on the front... Tacky, but direct. Sleep well. XX

Lazy day: spoke to some friends I'm rather close to... confiscated a large piece of glass from the dog and rescued her from a garden hose clip she'd SOMEHOW gotten attached to her lip. Bloody thing is always up to mischeif. Did some housework and enjoyed a long conversation with the boys, heres a little extract of the more G rated part of it:

ME: Who's your perfect woman?
D: Has to have dark brown eyes
D: Looooooooooooooooooooooong black hair
M2: Smart, funny, attractive - you know, the classics
D: Is into Metal as much as me
M1: Brown hair...must have brown hair...
D: And can hold her own in a thrash pit
M2: Must be sweet
D: And a nice arse doesn't hurt either *winks*
L: Redhead, hot, likes gaming, fantastic cook, likes me too would be nice
ME: *laughing*

Sometimes I wonder how my guy friends DON'T know about the sexual stuff I tell them... I'm always the one they come to for advice on women... how to approach, good body language, signs that she likes you, flirting techniques... I even got asked a question about what oral techniques I like, my best sexual experience, my worst sexual experience. Even what got my "engine going"... I was surprised to hear one of my mates ask me where the clit is... I nearly fell off my bloody chair with that one! Gah... lots of tea later and a large bowl of fried rice consumed, the sexy conversation ended with kisses and groping and we parted ways... they appreciated the underwear though - red lace, see through ;)

No I didn't show them, the wind caught my skirt... honest.

Another day of domesticity, dotted with random acts of childishness and utter fun to be honest. A few loads of washing and some housework... then rolled around on the grass with my dog and played with her for HOURS... it was great. I love it when she's happy, and her tail wags so fast that her whole body moves with it. She's a lovely pup, but we didn't always have her. We rescued her from an abusive owner. The day we got her she was locked in the boot of a car on a forty degree celcius day for chewing a plastic coke bottle left in the back yard... she was so skinny and frightened... all bones... its lovely to see such a drastic change in her in such a short time span. Just a few months... four I think, maybe five that we've had her. I love her for her foolishness though, her clumsiness... you can tell now that she never really got to be a puppy... shes so silly and playful... and you can't wear her out no matter how much you try. I swear, she has energy coming out of her ears that dog. LOL. When she was a little tired, and sniffing after the cat that ran into the shed, I lay on the grass on my back and watched the clouds. And I remembered how good grass felt. And how long it had been since I'd done this.

Its funny how you forget the childish things... the innocent things.

And then the dog came and layed on my body and sneezed on my chin. That was charming but hilarious. A good friend of mine told me that "Life would be pretty dull without dogs"... and I think he's right. Just like the old man with his jack russel... like me and my heelers... dogs really are a man's (and a woman's) best friend. It doesn't substitute human contact though... emotional, physical, intellectual, psychological... even sexual (unless beastiality is your thing). A dog is great for comfort... for companionship... a best friend. Doesn't compare to waking up next to someone who's hopefully not QUITE so hairy as your four legged friend. As for today's underwear? Pale pink boylegs with newspaper print all over them. Yes, you can read my arse.

ANZAC Day. When Australians and New Zealanders remember our war heroes...


And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda
Now when I was a young man, I carried me pack,
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the Murray's green basin to the dusty outback,
Well, I waltzed my Matilda all over.
Then in 1915, my country said Son,
Its time you stopped rambling, there's work to be done.
So they gave me a tin hat, and they gave me a gun,
And they marched me away to the war.

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As the ship pulled away from the quay
And amidst all the cheers, the flag waving and tears,
We sailed off for Gallipoli.

And how well I remember that terrible day,
How our blood stained the sand and the water
And of how in that hell that they called Suvla Bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter.
Johnny Turk he was waiting, he'd primed himself well.
He shower'd us with bullets. And he rained us with shell,
And in five minutes flat, he'd blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to Australia.

But the band played Waltzing Matilda, when we stopped to bury our slain
We buried ours, and the Turks buried theirs, then we started all over again.

And those that were left, well we tried to survive,
In that mad world of blood, death and fire
And for ten weary weeks, I kept myself alive
Though around me the corpses piled higher.
Then a big Turkish shell knock me arse over head,
And when I woke up in my hospital bed,
And saw what it had done, well I wished I was dead.
Never knew there was worse things that dyin'.

For I'll go no more Waltzing Matilda, all around the green bush far and free
To hump tent and pegs, a man needs both legs
No more Waltzing Matilda for me.

So they gathered the crippled, the wounded,
The maimed, and they shipped us back home to Australia.
The legless, the armless, the blind, the insane,
Those proud wounded heroes of Suvla
And as our ship pulled into Circular Quay,
I looked at the place where me legs used to be.
And thanked Christ there was nobody waiting for me,
To grieve, to mourn, and to pity.

But the band played Waltzing Matilda, as they carried us down the gangway.
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
Then they turned all their faces away.

And so now every April, I sit on me porch
And I watch the parades pass before me.
And I see my old comrades, how proudly they march,
Reviving old dreams of past glories.
And the old men march slowly, old bones stiff and sore.
They're tired old heroes from a forgotten war
And the young people ask, What are they marching for?
And I ask myself the same question.

But the band played Waltzing Matilda, and the old men still answer the call,
But as year follows year, more old men dissapear.
Someday no one will march there at all.

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda, who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?
And their ghosts may be heard as they march by that billabong.
Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?

The A-Z of Alcohol (part one)

A is for Absinth
Ah, that elusive green stuff that everyone makes such a big deal out of because apparantly it makes you hallucinate. It fucks with your brain because of the high alcohol content. Hangover cures definately needed after a night of this.

B is for Beer
Ah, the wonderful Australian tradition. Nothing like an Aussie beer. I am the beer drinking girl. Personally I've heard its a turn on for blokes - chicks that drink beer. But I've had nothing but good responses from it ;)

B is also for Bourbon
A little rougher than scotch, but just as popular. A drink that many enjoy straight up, and personal friends that are close to me drink reguarly. Comes in many a shape and form, but the purer the better.

C is for Cowboys
Originally known as the "Cock Sucking Cowboy" this is a beautiful creamy concoction that slides down the throat like well... something very dirty if you know what I mean *awkward wink*. What can I say - I'm a Cock Sucking Cowgirl.

D is for Daniels, Jack that is
Ah, Jack Daniels, beautiful drink. Nothing in the world like Jack Black to set the mood and get you absolutely shitfaced.

Today was the boring day of the week. Housework day. Boring, yes... yes oddly satisfying. Seeing the home in dissaray and looking at it again in a few short hours - sparkling and clean, seeing your own face smile back at you in quite possibly EVERY shiny appliance in the house is a satisfying feeling... a feeling of triumph. "I HAVE CONQUORED THE DUST BUNNIES!!" she shouts from atop the kitchen bench and laughing at her own insanity. Strange how we tend to ENVY other people's insanity in a way... all one has to do is look at the proverbial 'rock-star' and realise what I'm talking about. The pure chaos and madness (and yes, insanity) of their everyday existance can make the average human being quite jealous. More than once you will hear a small blonde teeny-bopper whine "I want to be just like HER!". Poor child.

Anyway, after the ritualistic scrubbing, polishing and dusting of every reachable surface of the home, I played silly buggers with my dogs. Two blue heelers, the most lovely loyal companions a girl could ask for. Always lavishing you with love and affection and with what in return? A bowl of food once a day and a few treats here and there. I love my dogs. Turns out that (after standing in a steamy, squishy pile of dog excrement - disgusting but true. I apologise if you, dear reader, parted ways with your lunch) my dogs HATE a bath. Mention the very word and they turn and run like well... a dog possessed I suppose. Hiding under the bush at the back fence with their tails between their legs and covering as if I were sending them off to the glue factory. Ah... but this is where bribery comes into it. The power of a chocolate biscuit *evil grin*. That power, a girl knows all too well. As for the underwear? Yellow boylegs. Actually, thats what I wore for most of the day - what can a girl say? Doing the vaccuming in your undies is just one of those things...

Yet another boring and quite uneventful day at the office. Had a few nice chats with the customers that came in, some of the locals are really quite lovely. Had a great little chat with a nice middle aged guy that just worked on a Sunday for the first time in six years as he's a single parent. Then we had a giggle at the expense of his mate. Seriousness replaced with playful mocking and piss-taking. Ah, lovely. And no watersports involved, I assure you. Cheeky little thing ain't I?

Got offered another shift by a mate of mine that also works there, she needs the time off for a doctors appointment but I'm not entirely sure I want to take it. I mean - I need the cash (is there EVER a single time in anyone's pitiful existance when they don't NEED more money? Excluding the disgustingly rich, obviously), but I'm not entirely sure I want to do another night next week. I quite enjoy having some remnant of a social life, thankyou. Even the local alcoholics (astonishingly) didn't make the trip today! Ah, but you see - it was market day. Far too important to go and look at other people's old junk and see how much they want for it to fuel their booze habit. Lovely isn't it. Quaint little things, human beings.

Was terribly cold today - not the weather, but me rather. I'm afraid I might be coming down with something and hope to the Goddess that I'm not. I suppose running into a cool room (two degrees celcius) and then back into the shop (approx 20 degrees celcius) every few minutes isn't great for ones body... but they're paying me to be cold. So I'll shut up and put up. At least my arse wasn't cold - purple and white striped boylegs, little frill around the legs and a bow at the front with 'cutie' written on the side. Simply adorable. Arguably not entirely sexy - but at work I ain't trying to impress someone who wants my body. I'm there to get paid. Maybe I could accomplish both as a call girl. Hmmm... ponderisms.

Another day at the office. Sitting back now in front of this horribly glaring computer screen and drinking a redback (beer, darlings, beer). A very 'blah' day generally, nothing overly exciting to report. Perhaps the highlight of my day at work was battling a giant cricket for life and death. I swear, it was huge. As big as my head.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating for dramatic effect, just a LITTLE. But you get the drift, surely.

I find it amazing how even the most devout alcoholics refused to show up today for their weekend supplies because of the slightly cold weather. A little rain, a few gusts of wind and BAM! No booze for them. Ah, but the brave and almighty certainly showed up. Yes yes. And generally a nice crowd they were too. Yet again another day of flirting with everything that has two legs and was old enough to buy alcohol. Fortunately for me, the extremely comfortable undies kept my arse warm: lovely little hot pink pair of boylegs. Very nice indeed. Maybe I'll make the underwear record a regular feature. Only if they're particuarly interesting of course.

Ah, goodmorning to the masses! Today is a day of great joy, a day that brings a wide smile of satisfaction to my lips and warms the heart. The day off. Admittedly, I have a lot of those, but hey, one must enjoy the blissful gloriousness of being able to lay in bed all day doing nothing but reading and eating white chocolate and raspberries (beautiful combination by the way). This morning (in the very early hours) two somewhat interesting, and equally strange things happened to me (yes, in the VERY early hours when one is normally found asleep in a large comfy bed). One, was a call from a complete random person who believed that he met me while dancing in collingwood. To which, after much flirting I must admit, I told him that I've never been to collingwood in my life and certainly have no idea what he's talking about. He was a nice guy though. Shame I never knew his name. The second of which was a funny little flashback which had me laughing my arse off at 4am... For the sake of anonymity, the man in this flashback will be known as 'A'...

ME: G'day A
HE: G'day Trace, hows life?
ME: Not to bad, sunshine, and yourself?
HE: Ah, getting there.
*few moments pass while he picks a bottle of bourbon - cougar, incidentally - off the shelf, talk back radio blaring*
HE: This guy definately has a face for radio
ME: Is that right?
HE: Have you seen him, darl? He's got a face like a bucket of smashed crabs!

Ah, sweet comedic memories.

Now one is faced with the overwhelming decision of what to do on a day off. This bed is far too warm and far too comfortable to risk getting out of it just yet... nope. Definately not right now. Mmmmm... pillows. Is it just me or is your own bed one of the most sinfully delightful pleasures of the human existance. I don't know a single person who hates their bed. I mean, when one is experiencing playful romping between the sheets it is still one of the most wonderful places to spend time. Yep, I think I'll just stay here for a while. Damn, now I miss the playful romping.

Upon first inspection the title of this online diary... affectionately called a blog - may seem tacky. But ah, let one explain, please. Tonight while sitting at work and watching an elderly gentleman walking his jack russel, the truth of 'man's best friend' became apparant. Smiling to myself as the man chatted happily to his companion, watching it jump around his heels with such vigour and excitement that seems alien to such a small dog one was hit (like a brick wall to emphasise the point) with my own position as a friend to the masses. Not unlike a bitch, I might add. Then I watched the people that entered my place of business, the locals - the gawdy men after a hard days work, indeed, even people that I went to school with - kindergarten if one will be honest. And I listened to a man who very obviously started to flirt with me (and of course, one flirts back!) and the conversation that followed...

ME: "How are you today, love?"
HE: "Ah, sweetheart, better now with seeing your lovely self and getting THIS into me"
ME: "Go on then! Rub it in that you're going home for a drink and I'm stuck here for the rest of the night! Geez..."

And one has to realise... that when dog is man's best friend... then surely the barmaid - the bottle shop girl - is an alcoholics. For that is what I do - I work in a bottle shop. I sell booze to the masses of this incredibly small bush town and I love every minute of it. Its strange to know that I've lived in this town for fifteen years and never known half of the people that reside in it. Now I have my chance. Fresh out of school, all the promise in the world of going to uni and getting a degree in something that will put me head and heels above the rest (or so I was informed while at school, but thats another entry)... and I work in a bottle shop. And I wouldn't have it any other way.