I spent most of today reading... Following the progress of Salinger's protagonist in "The Catcher in the Rye" I realised how much I need to get away... I'm starting to get itchy feet, this happens every few years with me, I need to get out and travel and see something. I want to have the kind of life where people I tell about my adventures will just say "WOW". And I can't help feel attached to everything. Its not my job, I can get a job anywhere in this country, but I can't help almost hating it here. I admire how the character, although only a teenager, can just take off and end up in New York... although I suppose in the time this is set going off to New York is a hell of a lot cheaper than it is today... Its not New York I want to go to really... I want to see my country. I've lived here my whole life and I want to see its beauty and its harsh reality for myself. Guess theres a little adventurer in me.

I got a pile of forms about my superannuation today, and I can't make head or tails about any of it. Its confusing, and so far the only thing I actually understand is that its with the Commonwealth Bank. Its ALMOST relaxing here now... the fire is loaded and the rain is belting at the windows, can hear my olds argueing in the background about something stupid... a telly program I think. Its childish and it surprises me that they're both in their 50s. I picked up a book a couple of weeks ago that I really want to get into: "Nineteen Eighty Four"... I'm looking forward to that one. It still surprises me how a lot of my mates would rather spend their wages on music or clothes, while I'm more interested in feeding my soul and my mind. Granted, music can do that, but the ability for deeper connection with music was lost when Rap became a genre. Today's panties: Sunflower yellow boylegs.

Today I woke up to discover the sky gray and heavy, rain battering my windows, and lightning breaking across the sky. Also discovered a shaking, shivering, frightened puppy in my bed. It was adorable. But also hairy and scratchy. Then I climbed out my window and sat on the verandah roof, watched the storm... it was lovely in a way. I love how you can feel all the electricity coursing through your body, and the way your hair stands on end at the back of your neck, and your body feels so at place in the universe. Its exciting. That could partly be due to the fact that there is a possibility one could be struck by lightning, but hey, its part of the experience. And then came a random conversation...

ROD: "My chest hair tingles"
ME: "That doesn't surprise me honey, its your super sexy sixth sense"
ROD: "Danger is afoot!"
ME: "Of course it is, you're around"
ROD: "This explains much"
*long pause*
ROD: "And can only mean my penis has become harder"
ME: "You should have been steralised at birth when you burst from your mother's womb"

But then a conversation regarding Kafka came about with a close male friend, and that kind of balanced out the stupidity in the universe. I think. The topic of conversation I believe was "What is the most dominant form of human intelligence"... we ended up on a shaky balance between political and spiritual. There were some rather good debates that accompanied it. A lot of people find it strange that the majority of my friends are male. Theres just something that seems to make the friendship so much more... endurable if its a bloke. I think the lack of girlish screaming and squeeling helps. Also the lack of pointless convesations about boyfriends...

Today's panties - red with a purple lace trim and 'cutie' written on the side.

Today was partly a day of recognition, and partly a day of eye opening sadness. I recognised how I was feeling and how I was dealing with the world around me, and realised that I wasn't doing too well... Then a friend showed me photographs he had taken of the devastation that is still left behind since Hurricane Katrina hit Florida. And I was sickened, and disgraced to be a human being. And realised that compared to that, and compared to what some of those people must be living I have heaven. I learned not to complain about life, and to take every knock on the chin. That if you fall down, you get up, and you try and help as many people as you can in the process. I wish there was a way to compell the government of the US to act in a more productive way, and to help the people on their own soil than wage a war in another country. I hate to think that if the American government put even a fraction of the funds for the Iraq war into rebuilding the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, that this horror would have long been over.

On a lighter note, today's panties - white cotton with cherries printed all over them

Work has been rather busy lately, I guess a few days of warm weather has people reaching for the booze again. The people that come into work still amaze me, but they're always generally nice, nothing too offensive comes out of their mouths, and the flirting comments come out of practically everybody's. A guy that stands out in my mind recently was a middle aged bloke, about 34 - 37 years old, not too bad looking actually...

HIM: "Come fishing with me"
ME: "Yeah? Sounds like a plan, where are you going?"
HIM: "The local pier, I'm gonna back up onto it with me ute, me mate's gonna fish off the end, and I'm gonna sit in the front and... drink"
ME: "That sounds exciting"
HIM: "Oh it will be, would be even more so if you were to come along"
ME: "I think I may have to pass on the fishing, love"
HIM: "You don't know what you're missing sweetheart."

Oh yeah, I get em in droves. If theres an annoying drunk male out there, he'll walk into my store on the night that I'm working. Its even better when they come in packs.

BLOKE 1: "Hello beautiful"
ME: "Hello hopeless"
BLOKE 2: "aww... Now don't be like that"
BLOKE 3: "How much is a slab of cougar?"
ME: "Sixty mate"
BLOKE 1: "Pffft, thats a bit steep"
ME: "Thats the price, you don't like it, go somewhere else"
BLOKE 4: "Right, how much is a cube of Bundy?"
ME: "Forty five sweetheart"
BLOKE 2: "So you call HIM sweetheart!"
BLOKE 1: "Come drinking with us"
ME: "Nope"
BLOKE 1: "Please come drinking with us"
ME: "Nope"
BLOKE 4: "Come on darling, just a few drinks"
ME: "You've got more chance of FLYING out that frikkin' door, that you do of me coming drinking with you"
BLOKE 2: "Better grow some wings then, hey"
ME: "Hell yes"

Things haven't been too bad the last couple of days to be honest. Pretty average, but not bad. Mother's Day was a great hit in our home, I spoiled her rotten. Completely rotten. Chocolates and books and new pajamas, and a really soppy card that made her cry. Cooked her breakfast, did everything for her, she didn't lift a finger all day. Lucky.

Today's panties - at the moment, none. Will report back soon.

Yesterday I was dyeing my hair and I had a thought, that I've been thinking about quite a bit since actually... How much of our lives do we actually fake? In a world where we can fake our hair colour, our eye colour, our height, our weight, our breast size, our cock size, our skin colour, our accent, our beliefs, hell, even our orgasm... how much of us, at the end of the day, is real? What part of us is left behind the primping and pampering and carrying on?

I'm also reading a book which is perhaps entirely focused around lies, and their actions and their consequences - The Catcher in the Rye. And I'm loving it. But one line in the book has ruined what the protagonist's perceptions were for me "I am the most terrific lier."

I have to run off to work. I'll report in soon with another exciting addition to my online tales. Todays panties - Red boylegs with a pair of lips on the front. Over and out. XX

The A - Z of Alcohol (part three)

I is for "Iceberg"
A lovely little cocktaily something which my mate 'L' put me onto. It contains vodka and peppermint schnapps which you shake with ice and strain into a chilled glass. Sounds bloody nice actually.

J is for Jagermeister
A beautiful and extremely potent drink that is truly delicious and packs one hell of a punch when combined with red bull.

K is for Kahlua
Mmmm... this beautiful smooth creamy liquid is lovely when combined with butterscotch and icecream in a blender. Makes a lovely summery drink and packs a decent punch to boot!

L is for Lager
Ah, the beloved lager. Very possibly one of the most popular forms of beer and one of the highly enjoyable. One of my favourite forms of lager is the 'Crown'

M is for Moscato
A lovely white wine created by Brown Brothers. Brown Brothers make beautiful versatile wines which are pretty damn fool proof for any wine new-comer. If you pick up a bottle of Brown Brother's (red OR white) ... you can't go wrong. My tip.

This morning I started work at 6am... It was again another equally horrible and boring day. As you can imagine not a whole lot of people want to buy booze at that time of the morning. Being up that early is simply ridiculous, in my opinion. My bosses are inhumane and cruel. They should be poked profusely with pointy sticks. I should say to them "AHA! I will go out and find a stick, make it pointy and then return to poke you with it profusely!" That would show them.

When I finished work, I felt like walking home (about five, maybe six km), and I stopped in the cemetary again. I sat on a tree stump and just watched... and the way the wind was blowing through the gum trees and the dust blowing across the rocky ground really made it all the more comforting and beautiful to me. And then I took these... Today's panties: Black cotton, with "hands up" printed on the front, and a red lace trim.